apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Randomize
