theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
