3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize
