I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
