I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
All the doctor said was why
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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