I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
