I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
