i'm lost and i look like a hooker
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
