I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
