Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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