shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
