Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
