And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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