She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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