We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
