You're a womanizer and a bitch.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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