Her vagina should come with caution tape.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
