Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
