So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
