Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
