i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
