I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
We are all done wearing pants today
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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