is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
