Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
