He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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