Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
