I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
