I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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