We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
