I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Randomize
