i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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