I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
