Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
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I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
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