I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
