I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
