I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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