not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Randomize
