Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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