I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
