in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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