I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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