he shaved USA in his pubs
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
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