Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize