I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
