Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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