You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
