For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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