how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Maybe he injected his testicle?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Randomize
