Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
