Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
