when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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