Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
