Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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