I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
