Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
