I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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