I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
