The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
It all started with a game of naked twister.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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