Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
there's paper in my vomit.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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