In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
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