I want to stick my p in your. b.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
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I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
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Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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