Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
