Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize