You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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