it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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