WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
