i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
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