I think my vagina is haunted
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
