the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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