Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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