I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
