I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Randomize
