my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
too bad you live with your parents still
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
This toilet bowl is my home.
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