flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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