return my video game
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Randomize
