So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
time to smoke my breakfast
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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